There's Always A Reason
by TrickstersImp
Summary: Songfic written on Last Christmas for ashyboo02's Winter Wonderland challenge. Cat-centric.


There's always a reason

_**(Last Christmas songfic)**_

I stared at my watch, watching it ticking, Christmas Eve. _How magical_, isn't that what I'm supposed to be thinking? I had given Beck's Christmas party a miss this year, I just couldn't face it. This meant I was sitting alone in the park as my parents weren't home and I didn't want to be in the big house all alone. But it was worth it as Tori told me he'd set it up like last year.

Bored, I turned on the radio on my phone and almost laughed at the irony of the song choice. _Last Christmas._

Last year, at exactly this time, I was having the time of my life underneath the mistletoe. It was my absolute favourite holiday and I'd just been kissed by the boy I had liked ever since I remembered. Jade's feelings hadn't even been hurt; she had broken up with him.

_**Last Christmas I gave you my heart.**_

_**But the very next day, you gave it away.**_

It was two hours later that hurt the most. Jade and Beck, laughing, and kissing under the mistletoe. It was all a stupid mistake he had told me. I didn't mean anything; at least it didn't to him. What a great way to spend Christmas Day.

_**This year to save me some tears**_

_**I'll give it to someone special.**_

I slowly started to sing along, tears slowly falling down my cheek, not being able to save them. Where was I supposed to find someone special? If I had someone special I wouldn't be sitting here all alone.

_**Last Christmas, I gave you my heart **_

_**But the very next day, you gave it away **_

_**This year, to save me from tears **_

_**I'll give it to someone special.**_

It repeated slowly. I would give anything to never have to repeat last year again. But I had to, every time I saw him. Every time I saw Jade. Every time they kissed. Every time she screamed, "So you wanna break up with me?" I felt hope in my heart and then guilt way me down.

_**Once bitten and twice shy **_

_**I keep my distance but you still catch my eye **_

_**Tell me baby do you recognise me? **_

_**Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me**_

That's why I avoided them now. Didn't speak to them when I could help it. Changed my look to help me get a fresh new attitude. Dyed my hair bright red, befriended the new girl and Andre and even Robbie. I wasn't the same girl now as I was last year. Not by a long shot. In fact I was surprised to even be invited to Beck's this year.

_**I wrapped it up and sent it **_

_**With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it **_

_**Now I know what a fool I've been **_

_**But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again**_

How could I have belittled myself to beg for him back? Why was I angry at myself? Why was this my fault? Why did I say "I love you" to a man I knew didn't love me back? But I know if it happened again I would do the exact same thing for a chance at Beck. So I had to stop myself making an even bigger fool of myself.

The chorus came back on and I sang my heart out to it. Pouring my sorrows into the song, hoping that it would hold them for me. Knowing that I would always think of this song as the night I was sitting alone, shivering on Christmas Eve. I would probably never listen to it again.

_**A crowded room, friends with tired eyes  
>I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice<br>My God I thought you were someone to rely on  
>Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on<br>A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
>A man undercover but you tore me apart<br>Oooh Oooh  
>Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again<strong>_

How could I be his rebound girl? Was I going to spend the rest of my life hung over Beck? Why had I spent so much time hiding from him in the corner? Why did I keep asking myself rhetorical questions I would never be able to answer? I mean, I'm sitting alone in the dark on the 'happiest day of the year'. I'm obviously not a very together girl. And what did _real love_ even mean? Someone who I could take and say to Beck, "I'm over you!" Or someone I could actually love, and make me honestly completely forget about Beck?

_**I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special **_

_**who'll give me something in return **_

_**I'll give it to someone **_

_**hold my heart and watch it burn**_

I sang those lines my voice quivering, as I heard footstep come towards me. Scared I got up and began to run.

But a voice stopped me in my tracks, "Cat!"

_**I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special**_

Robbie was running towards me. "Shit Cat! Why the hell are you out here at this time of night? I've been locking all over!"

_**I've got you here to stay **_

He cared enough to come looking for me. And it hit me.

_**I can love you for a day **_

I didn't need a man to help me get over Beck.

_**I thought you were someone special **_

Because my heart didn't belong to Beck anymore.

_**gave you my heart **_

I walked slowly towards Robbie.

_**I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone**_

Looked him in the eyes.

_**last christmas I gave you my heart **_

And it was like Beck had never existed.

_**you gave it away**_

And he had never broken my heart. It was completely whole. And now I was going to give it away.

_**I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone**_

"I've finally found someone special." I whispered in his ear.

And then I kissed the man I had been waiting for, as my watch beeped Christmas Day.

And it turns out I was wrong, I didn't remember this song as the night I was sitting all alone in the park. I remembered it forever as the day I kissed the love of my life. And I listen to it every day. Whether it's December or July.


End file.
